i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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