i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
