Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I love having hate sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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