I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
