me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
