Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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