how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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