I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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