Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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