I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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