If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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