he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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