Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
