Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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