And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
