my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
