youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize