I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
