Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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