Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
