YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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