Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
