laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you will always have a special place in my vag
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
