Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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