Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
