i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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