Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
