Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
