Buhtt sex?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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