Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
