Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
