I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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