There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
