I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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