I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
