I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
