every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
someone owes me an orgasm
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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