I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
