8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Im part way to drunk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
