Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
