OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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