please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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