Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize