I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
