I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my being single is dangerous.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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