More tranny stories later!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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