I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone signed my nipple.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
