the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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