Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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