i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
