I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Even my vagina gasped.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
