I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I deserve this hangover.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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