they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
