did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize