my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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