you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
