At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
