idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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