I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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