that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
