I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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