i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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