Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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