Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize