Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
