Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
