she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
