drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
