The maid of honor just puked.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How external is "for external use only"?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
