I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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