Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
