Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
