So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
