HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
