So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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