Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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