even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
