I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
